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C2 Rocks!!   
10:36pm 20/06/2004
  I've never been too big on Coca-Cola's new products but as I stated in a previous post I made about. So the other day I notice C2 in the stores and I'm like "I've gotta try it to see if it's any good"

So I buy one, and I try it, I love it!, though less sugar than coca-cola, it's taste is much better than that of the regular coca-cola product. Ever since I've been downing C2 like fucking crazy!

I have yet to try Pepsi Edge, I seen it in the stores and may try it tomorrow. So keep updated for the next update on my cola-fanatic, drinking experiments.

Rock oooooooooooon!
-Eric		  
     

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Childless couple told to try sex   
09:30pm 21/05/2004
  (This will most likely be put on the show but I figured I'd share it with you freaks in advance)

A German couple who went to a fertility clinic after eight years of marriage have found out why they are still childless - ""they weren't having sex.""

The University Clinic of Lubek said they had never heard of a case like it after examining the couple who went to see them last month for fertility tests.

Doctors subjected them to a series of examinations and found they were both apparently fertile, and should have had no trouble conceiving.

A clinic spokesman said: "When we asked them how often they had had sex, they looked blank, and said: "What do you mean?".

"We are not talking retarded people here, but a couple who were brought up in a religious environment who were simply unaware, after eight years of marriage, of the physical requirements necessary to procreate."

The 30-year-old wife and her 36-year-old husband are now being given sex therapy lessons while the university clinic undertakes a study to try to find out if there are more couples with a similar lack of sex education.


There ya have it. a really fucked up weird news story for you.

-Eric		  
     

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Britney Spears Subliminal Message   
05:20pm 18/05/2004
  http://www.ebaumsworld.com/britneysubliminal.html

This just in... Spears Shocker, Nation Reeling: Ms. Britney Spears has been accused of using blatant sexual intrigue to promote record sales. The 22 year old singer/songwriter/wanton sexpot faced the harsh allegations this afternoon in an emergency news conference. Spears admonished the crowd for their speculation, adding "I mean, c'mon y'all. I'm just an innocent southern girl and my outfits are simply a creative expression of my artistry. Nothing DRRTY goin' on here." Rival music diva and outright whore, Christina Aguilerra, responded to the subtextual jab only moments after the conference conclusion. Aguilerra warned, "That f***in' trailer trash B***H better watch her ass! I'm comin' for you, Skank!" Now we go to Phillip Dubois and Norimoto Bu-Kah-Kii for tonight's weather report. . .		  
     

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19 things to do in a bathroom stall   
11:18pm 12/05/2004
  1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function.

4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh NO!! My glass eye!!"

6. Say "Dang, this water is cold."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.

8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling,"Whoa! Easy boy!!"

11. Say," Interesting....more sinkers than floaters"

12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?

13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep

14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"

15. Say, "Dang, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"

16. Strum a well known song on your butt cheeks over and over again.

17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down a "Cross-Dressers Anonymous "newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.

18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say,"Peek-a-boo!"

19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free"		  
     

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A Daily Distortion Full Show   
09:52pm 09/05/2004
  It's been a while but I managed to toss together a 30 minute episode of Daily Distortion featuring clips I've done over my extended break from Daily Distortion, with narration help from my cousin. You can find the Full show by clicking the link http://ultimatepride.com/ddfullshow.rm It's in real player format. If you don't have real player feel free to reply requesting the link in Windows media format.

Daily Distortion's brand new web design will be up in 2 weeks along with a BRAND NEW episode of DD. You will see many features on the site, including AOL Icons, Daily D-TV, which is Video's me and my cousin's Anthony and Danny have done, Clips I've done over the break, and so much more.

Keep checking back here for more updates OR drop by http://ultimatepride.com/dailydistortion.

For anyone who is interested in carrying Daily Distortion on their internet radio station or whatever, feel free to drop a line at daily@ultimatepride.com		  
     

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Fat Americans Soon To Have Something New To Order With Supersized #5   
11:26pm 06/05/2004
 



Friends, things are really going to heat up this summer. No, I'm not talking about The O.C. on FOX. I'm talking about a war that's brewing. Specifically, a war between cola. A few summers back when Coca-Cola introduced Vanilla Coke, the world (ok, probably just me) was enthralled. Any new cola product development has that affect on me. Most notably, Pepsi responded by bottling blue smurf-vomit and trying to unleash it upon the general public to compete with Coke's offering. It didn't pan out, and Pepsi eventually started selling their own version of vanilla-flavored Pepsi. The winner of that war undoubtedly goes to Coca-Cola.

It's a brand new summer and a brand new Cola War. Think of it as Soda-War II: Operation Carbs. First, PepsiCo announced plans for a low-carb cola.

According to Pepsi, "Pepsi Edge delivers its full-flavored cola taste through a unique blend of Splenda (sucralose) and high fructose corn syrup. The national rollout begins late this summer". The new drink will have 50% less sugar, and (I'm guessing) about 1/10th the flavor. Expect a late-summer roll-out.



I'll let you know how these drinks stack up as soon as I get my grubby little hands on them.

And on a brighter note, the new layout for <url=http://ultimatepride.com/dailydistortion>Daily Distortion</url> is almost done, with a few touchups, it should be good and ready in a couple of weeks. I'm also in the works of getting a new domain for Daily Distortion. Also my little Insane Freaks, a new episode of Daily Distortion WILL go up on the same day I launch the new Daily Distortion layout.

I've been working on and have worked on some Videos, expect a launch of Daily D-TV very soon as well. That's right, you the fans of Daily Distoriton can experience insanity right on your computer screens, YEAH!!!

That's all for now.
Panamana-Pia
-Eric		  
     

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Whatever you call this.   
09:16pm 10/03/2004
  I've seen this done on all sorts of other blogs, so who am I to be inventive and do something original? Here are some interesting facts about me presented in an easy to swallow numbered format.

3 Weird Things That I Enjoy:

1) Keeping up on new cola beverages.
2) Watching golf every once and awhile on TV.
3) Trying to kick a basketball into the goal.

6 TV Shows That I Love:

1) Real TV
2) Full House
3) All in the family.
4) Home Improvement
5) DragonballZ
6) Fresh Prince

1 Big Pet Peeve:

1) Not using turning signal to switch lanes. Come on, you lazy bastards.

Rock Bands / Artists I'm Totally In Love With:

1) July For Kings
2) The 3rd Degree
3) Greenwheel
4) Marvelous 3
5) The Clarks

4 Reasons Not To Touch That:

1) It could get infected
2) You don't know where it's been
3) It's got an intimidating label on it
4) It could be rabid

4 Things In Online Personal Ads That I Hate:

1) Using the word "boi" in your profile.
2) Quoting song lyrics / poems in the "more about me" section.
3) You: 350lbs / Your ad: "No fatties!"
4) Starting with: "I promise I won't bite..." and ending with "Hard", "Unless you ask me to", "I just nibble", etc. It's so cliche at this point.

There! Now, don't you feel like you know me intimately now. No? Well, why don't you come over to my place.. *wink wink.*

-Eric		  
     

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Booooring   
04:54am 15/01/2004
  If something doesn't interest me I will literally fall asleep. When I was at work, or at a relatives house, I was almost comatose and couldn't wait to get home so I could take a nap. But when something grabs my interest, I work at it to an obsessive degree. The website and show haven't really been interesting me lately, so you probably have noticed few updates. Like with the music every 2 days or so.

Lately I've been trying to purchase a Note book so I can FINALLY d/l some servers and other such software to get Daily Distortion on internet radio. Well, them fuckers at Dell turned me down, saying my credit is too new. Them dicks at "Gateway sucks" is still rendering a decision. So who knows.

I have checked out a few internet radio websites and one caught my attention, I am DETERMINED to get daily distortion on there, so that you guys can have Daily Distortion, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, for ever and ever and ever until........

You shit blue and figure out your mind can't take anymore stupidity, thus forcing you to admit yourself into a mental institution.

Keep your fingers crossed my twisted little minions and hope for the best.

That is all
-Eric		  
     

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Clickity click click   
09:46am 21/12/2003
  If you know me, you know how much I disklike modern computer keyboards. I come from the era of huge honkin' keybaords that weigh like 20 pounds and came with a coiled cord. There was no such thing as QUIET-TYPE or SOFT-TOUCH. These things were MADE to click. When you were typing a letter to grandma on your old IBM-PC 8088 using PFS Write, the whole goddamn neighborhood knew it.

So the other day, I went to visit one of my friends, he had a bunch of old junk computer parts. I found two keyboards, one was a Gateway 2000 keyboard and the other was a IBM. At any rate, this IBM has the loudest keyboard click I think I've ever heard and I'm sure I'll be driving my cousin Anthony crazy in about 10 minutes using this thing.

Guys, if you've never expreienced a loud, clicky computer keyboard, you are missing out. Everything seems 1000% more important when you are typing with a loud keyboard. "BOOBIES TASTE LIKE CANDY KISSES!!!!!" <-- With my clicky keyboard, it makes it seem like I'm writing my medical journal report on how I discovered the cure for cancer AND AIDS. Thank you, clicky keyboard. Thank you.

Why do they not make these things anymore? Sure they're loud, but why can't we have both products on the market? Soft-Touch and Diesel-Powered-Click? It's the betamax of keyboards, and I demand we change that. You guys need to find one of these things because you DESERVE the simplistic elegance of the loud keyboard, too.

Well, I still use my modern Keyboard but when I feel like driving someone crazy, I plug in the super duper clicky powered keyboard.

That is all, Later.
-Eric		  
     

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Just Checking.   
04:49am 19/12/2003
  Just checking to see if this Journal will work or not.  
     

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ddnetshow
 
 

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